Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern
At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me.
Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost one million people follow Mr Halpern’s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of sh*t he says…
DISCLAIMER: Some of the quotes in this book have expletives.
Why did I pick this?
Well, honestly, I follow Justin on twitter. I thought some of the quotes he tweets were hilarious. The other day, at work, I was chatting with a friend of mine at work about it. He didn’t know that there was a twitter account for this. We got to talking and he said that I needed to read this book. He told me that it wouldn’t be what I was expecting but it was a great book.
I was wary because they tried to make a TV show of this book with William Shatner. The show failed. I watched a couple episodes and wasn’t that impressed. So, I was apprehensive about the book.
I looked on Amazon and saw that the Kindle edition was only $2.99 so I thought…”What the hell? Why not?”
What did I think?
My friend at work was absolutely right. This book was not just good. It was great. No, awesome.
I started reading this last night and was already 30% done in a half an hour. Granted it’s an easy read but it was just so hilarious and heart warming at the same time. I couldn’t stop.
This book is pretty much just a compilation of short stories throughout Justin’s life with his father. But while you read this book, you get to see not only a brutally blunt and honest man, but a strong man who has a huge belief in family values.
This book will honestly be a favorite of mine and one I will treasure. Yes, Sam (Justin’s dad) can be crude and sometimes (mostly) brutally honest, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Justin talks about various points in his life that stand out in his mind. His father has said some of the funniest things I have ever heard but as Justin so eloquently says,
“For as long as I’ve known him, my father has been a blunt individual. When I was little, I mostly felt terrified of him, so I couldn’t appreciate that I was dealing with the least passive-aggressive human being on the planet. Now, as an adult, all day long I dealt with people-friends, coworkers, relatives-who never really said what they were thinking. The more time I spent with my dad in those first couple months back home, the more grateful I started to feel for the mixture of honesty and insanity that characterized his comments and personality.”
How true. No one really says what’s on their mind. Sensibilities get involved and hurt feelings become the result most of the time. Justin’s father didn’t care. He will tell you straight up how it was and if you didn’t like it, well then, he just didn’t care.
This was completely FILLED with hilarious stories and comments that his father made that had tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard.
But what I really loved was the undercurrent of absolute love that his father had for Justin. As a kid (and as we all do), we never really understand what it means to have that unconditional love for your child. You don’t really understand until you have one of your own.
No, I don’t have one but a lot of my friends do. I can see it in their faces when they look at their little girl. Or I can hear it when I see them text me a picture of their little baby boy at the beach. It’s so real and it’s awesome.
Back to the book…
Even though Sam gave Justin so much crap, he never gave up on his son. Not. Once. If something was wrong, Sam made it his goal to get to the bottom of it. Whether it might me Justin or it might be someone else in the wrong.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It wasn’t that long and it was an easy read but it was also one of the most comedic heart warming books that I will treasure.
There were only a couple quotes that I loved that had no cursing in it. But I found a couple:
“”You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life.”
“Why would you throw a ball in someone’s face?…Huh. That’s a pretty good reason. Well, I can’t do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.”
*My favorite quote (has curse word in it!)
“You’re trying. You’re giving it a go. That’s a big deal to me. You may not think things you do mean sh*t, but remember that they mean sh*t to me, okay?” … “You always got us. We’re family. We ain’t going anywhere. Unless you go on a f***ing killing spree or something.”
“I would still love you, Justy. I would just want to know why you did it,” my mom said earnestly…